Thinking Out Loud

I truly feel paralyzed when my thoughts are unable to meet with spoken words. I do not feel as though I have a fear of speaking and it is surely not a matter of being shy. In fact, I envy people whose biggest problem is mumbling their speech or shuddering to get through a sentence. I wish my biggest problem was being shy, however, I lack the ability to find words altogether. It’s like I have an immense flow of thoughts and ideas that stream through my head all day long and then when I am finally presented with a chance to speak, my thought process completely shuts down. I am quite confident in the work I produce at school and enjoy any written assignments as I find them relaxing and almost therapeutic. My problem isn’t that my mind is always blank but rather seems to be intensively on overdrive and is constantly generating thoughts whether I’m consciously thinking or not. My mind feels so overwhelmed that I find it hard to channel all of these ideas towards verbal communication. When thoughts develop in my head they are generated at such at a deep level that it is impossible to capture it in a verbal sentence. When I am trying to speak it is very clear what I am trying to say in my mind, however it is as if my response cannot be communicated by speech. The way my brain signals ideas to me does not seem to fit a verbal setting as these thoughts tend to reside deep in my mind. It is exhausting because I am constantly thinking throughout the day and when it comes to speaking I literally can’t even get a word out. If I am asked to write about a subject matter, I feel strongly opinionated and could ramble on about the topic forever. When I was younger I had selective mutism, however, was extremely creative with assignments in school. I think I am still deeply impacted from my anxiety in the past and want nothing more than to move on from this issue as it affects the way I do everything in life (interviews, work, college, etc.). Although I am extremely introverted, I feel upset by my situation, as I cannot adequately socialize with my peers. I often feel left out at school, events, and work, as I am not capable of conversating and delivering a free flow of speech. It is somewhat overwhelming for me because I am missing a component of my life that should allow me to drain the energy I have by communicating with my peers. I feel like I have no outlet for this energy and it just keeps building up which makes me feel lonely and depressed.

Does anyone else feel like this and if so are there any tips or feedback you would like to share with me?

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61 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud

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  1. Eesh, that that must be quite disturbing! How are you with monosyllabic one word sentences prepared and rehearsed days in advance?
    “Cool.”
    “Yep.”
    “Nah!”
    “Wow!”
    That sort of thing.
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Do you really do all of that? If you do, then you just need to pour love and compassion inside yourself as your doing it. You are loved, you are worthy, you are a part of something wonderful – humanity. 🙂
        (Yeah, I know, it’s trite. The best I could do after a hard day at work. It’s ten to six here and I should be getting off home. Laters.)

        Liked by 4 people

  2. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of the problem you so vividly describe. Seems like writing and blogging would be a very helpful way for you to connect with others and have a social net work. What other therapies have you tried?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your reply Shirley. I have tried therapy when I was younger, however I can not afford it at this point in time being a student and all. Although I did not find it to be too impactful as I struggled to communicate. I have heard cognitive therapy to be very effective. It will definitely be something to consider in my near future!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. It sounds as if you are ‘deep’ in thought allowing yourself to analyze and examine
    all that you hear, read, or share with others. Your thoughts processes are working
    overtime as indicated and you tend to feel somewhat withdrawn.
    I know this feeling well. You are ‘alone in the crowd’. Nothing is wrong with this.
    It is a normal mindset, just different, than others.
    Have a most wonderful day.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. There is Power in both written words and spoken words, and I prefer to write than speak. I am in the same situation where, I experience communication breakdown when I try to speak in front of people. I guess it’s a matter of training oneself by listening to persons who in a way, influence you the most. Learning about their experience will eventually inspire you. I did the same thing, and started speaking to small group of people until I gain that flow of verbal communication. Believe it or not, when one speaks from the heart, spoken words becomes magical.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have the opposite problem. I talk too much. I sometimes feel afterwards like I’ve hogged the conversation. I consciously try to stop and listen more. Perhaps you need someone who will allow you more long pauses in the conversation. Time for you to gather your thoughts and decide what to say. I hope you can unlock that door, and let your words flow. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to have things to say or wisdom to share, but not be able to communicate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I talk to much about myself often , I come off as very self centered. I just don’t like silence in social situations it feels awkward. I’m usually tense and don’t think to ask the other person questions. I end up feeling really bad after.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I can relate to this, my anxiety makes me come off as stupid though, as there are so many thoughts and so much anxiety running in the background of my mind. I have a hard time verbalizing what I want to convey. It’s like a really an engine that won’t start. My anxiety leaves me tired as well so that compounds everything.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello transformher82! I can totally relate to how you feel…Often times left feeling so silly cause you could’t push start your own brain when needed. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time with this and I hope things look up soon. Thank-you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. There is so much I can relate to here. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember, but in recent years I have begun having panic attacks. These attacks come on during things I used to be so confident about and for some reason no longer understand the rhyme or reason for it setting on. I have found a few different techniques in dealing with these though and one of my absolutely favorite ones is to count and snap my fingers at the same time. I had a therapist tell me once that the human mind has a tough time focusing on more than one thing at a time, so by forcing it to do two things at once (the snapping and the counting) it stops thinking about the things that worry it.
    Anyways, I appreciate reading this!
    Oh and thank you for following my blog and I’m looking forward to following yours. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Glad you shared this all…Yes I too suffer from a similar problem,like I have so much inside but when it comes to speaking I stick to one thought and keep on repeating.It is like for that moment I cannot think of anything else but just one point.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Beautifully written. I used to hate the days when my mind wouldn’t shut down. Leaves you feeling trapped, doesn’t it? Guided meditation has helped me tremendously. I hope you find peace hun, I wish you the best.

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  10. I definitely relate. Full of thougjts, y wet sometimes in the moment, I second guess whether I should say something the way it sounded so good in my head. Although I need a lot of alone time, I can carry on a conversation forever one on one. Throw a handful of people in the mix, and I think I get distracted just listening to everyone. Maybe I don’t NEED to say anything, but sometimes, I think I should. I will say that my tongue has loosened up in the last couple of years. Sometimes, I feel I could share my thoughts with a stadium full of people, but a conversation is another matter…

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    1. Wow very interesting…are you okay with doing a formal presentation in front of a large group but despise one on one interaction? Or is it all forms of social interactions you would like to rid yourself from? Thank-you for replying your thoughts are always welcome.

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      1. No, I am actually very good one on one. I don’t actually despise larger conversations, but I don’t feel as engaged. Guess harder for me following multiple conversations. Even though I suck at group conversations, I still love being in the middle of it all. I find time to change lanes and put something in the conversation here and there. Anyway, I have heard some people comment that all people are not comfortable enough to sit in a room with another person and JUST BE without trying to make small talk.

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  11. I really liked your post because I struggle with anxiety related to speech too. I think someone commented earlier that they prefer to write than verbally speak. I too prefer to write than to speak. It’s easier for me to get what I want to say out there rather than trying to find somewhere in a verbal conversation to finally have a say. I find when I’m having a hard time speaking to people it’s usually because the person I’m in conversation with is overwhelming me and they aren’t giving me time to respond to them so I literally forget what I want to say, and just sit there blank minded. It’s awkward and frustrating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Yes exact same for me. It’s like other people don’t realize that we need a few seconds. They just keep interrupting​ before I even have a chance to get a word out. Which is not anyone’s fault.

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  12. Lol I enjoy socializing only when I’m with people that are worth talking too, like you 😊. Other than that I’m pretty introverted as well. I’m like my kitty, I prefer solitude over crowds of silly humans 😆.

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  13. This is a very interesting conversational topic, for I find that I am the opposite of the same coin. I am a writer and I have a very difficult time getting my thoughts out because I find that I am so filled with thoughts! It’s like, my words are caught up inside me and I can’t get them out. I have my own blog and I sometimes find it hard to get out the words that I want to say. I am also working on a book about suffering, but I haven’t written anything in a long time because I can’t get the words out of my head and onto the page.
    Now, talking I have no problem with. I can talk and talk and talk. It’s just the putting my thoughts down on paper or word processor that I find very frustrating. I have suffered much in my lifetime and you would think that I would not have any problem getting words down, but it’s in fact the precise opposite. it drive me crazy.
    Perhaps, if you did not think about your speaking in such a serious way you would be able to get conversation out. Maybe if you thought about the person you are trying to talk to as someone you are having a pleasant cup of coffee together with would loosen you up some.
    I’ll tell you what. I’ll pray for your dilemma and you can pray for mine.:)

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    1. I also can relate to how you feel in a writing sense … I once heard Elizabeth gilbert say that it was like you had to writing everything down fast and catch your thoughts cause once they are out of reach its impossible to get them back. I feel like that as well cause i can be a bit of a scatter brain. I will definitely pray for you dilemma 😉

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  14. I too have the same problem. It’s been with me for the more than half a century I’ve been alive. It got further frustrated when I came to the UK 32 years ago because the fear of being ‘another loud mouth American’ got thrown into the mix. I’ve never mastered the problem but have learned to cope through sometimes painful trial and error.

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    1. it’s interesting to hear of someone who has been struggling with the same problem much longer. I guess there’s no need for resolution or change. we are who we are. thanks for your reply!

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    1. I’m sorry to hear it feels like a very helpless situation. but I have overcome it tremendously and I am now a business student and present regularly… im still looking to improve everyday..there’s hope for everyone 😊 besides children usually overcome it ! I will be sure to read this thanks

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  15. Definitely don’t be so hard on yourself. Realizing that most people will forgive a lot of what you say makes it easier for you to not be so hard on yourself when you speak to others.

    Also I recommend maybe giving yourself a little pump up speech or singing your favorite song maybe doing make-up or brushing your teeth. No one is born a natural orator and even the best speaker will tell you they have to practice to get so persuasive with their words.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I also struggled with selective mutism. Every once in awhile, it does sneak up on me and prevent me from talking. I’m still working on overcoming social anxiety, but I accept the fact that I am an introvert; though I do push myself to get out and socialize when necessarily. Remember to slowly take deep breaths, try not to focus on any thoughts that might discourage you, and drinking water may help your throat.

    Liked by 1 person

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